By now you are all aware that I am attempting to con my wife into loving orchids. Somedays I make progress, and then like today, I lose ground.

My wife says our home office stinks. This is where my greenhouse is, and I go back there thinking I have left the door open a little too much and she can smell wet moss or something. I step into the office and immediately I fall in love all over again. My Neofinetia falcata is in full bloom and the room smells like sweet heaven. "Do you smell it," she says, "it stinks like sugar cookies in here." A part of me died when she said that.

Earlier today Fedex dropped off an order of phalaenopsis. In the past she said they were "cute," but for some reason today she seemed annoyed that more orchids showed up at our doorstep. After she stomped around looking peeved for a few minutes I asked her what was wrong (already knowing of course). "I just don't think you are keeping track of how much money you are spending on plants." This from the woman who just convinced me that we needed to drop $800 a month on a personal trainer.

I quit. You will never have to hear me talk about my spouse not liking orchids, because I am not trying to change her mind.

It's ok John. She'll get used to it. :) Have you asking her if there's any orchids that interest her? Maybe a field trip to a nursery when most of the plants are in bloom might help?

Either that or you can suprise her with a trip to Borneo. lol

What kind of phal was it?

Yeah, I have tried everything I can think of to get her to like them. I have tried telling her some of the cool things about orchids (Neofinetia belonged to the samurai etc.) We went to an orchid society meeting so she could see the different types of people who grow orchids, and what they grow. Oddly enough there was a couple there just like us who were new. The guy liked orchids and wanted to start growing them and his wife literally said it was his "mid life crisis." YEESH!

My wife just doesn't understand why people like them so much that they want to spend so much time and money on them. The closest she has come to liking a plant is calling Phals "cute." That's why I thought she might enjoy the Phals we got today.

I am just tired of trying to get her to like something she just doesn't like. It's fine, and not out of the ordinary. We don't have anything in common really. It's kind of scary how different we are.

The plants I got today were a couple of Phal bellina species and a Dtps. Fire Cracker, which is supposed to be a nice blue flowering cross between Kenneth Schubert and Violacea.

I tried alot of that too with my wife. I had a nice sederia japonica in full bloom and all she could say is "that stinks like pine-sol." So frustrating.

I feel your pain. I have alot of hobbies, and I think my husband needs to get some. Unfortunately he doesn't like to go outdoors. I think I can probably count on one had the number of times he has been in our yard. He is a little OCD, ok maybe more than a little. And dirt, sunburn, and mosquito bites really anger him. I mean REALLY. He has humored me and watered my plants for me a couple of times but I heard about every mosquito bite for days after. Oh and don't even get me started on the 3 or 4 times he has been to the barn with me to see my horse. One of those times was an all night stay because of colic, and the other was when my horse was gelded. He actually held my horse's leg back for the procedure. Now that's love, I know. But he has never been out to see my horse since those times and he has never been riding with me. He was just completely grossed out by the smell and flies and all the other normal horse things that are mildly unpleasant but you put up with.

The money thing is another hot issue. So hot that we don't go there anymore where my horse is concerned. Plants, now that's another story. He does NOT understand paying $10 much less $100 for a plant. So I don't bother trying to explain. I figure it's the same as why I don't understand his need to buy $350 of assorted beef jerkey. We just kinda stay out of each other's face about our spending money now. We each decide how much we want to have per month to spend and that's it. We just don't ask what the other spends it on.

Ohhhh, I'll have to tell him about the Samurai/neofenitia thing. He will think that is cool. He does love martial arts and history.

Maybe the mistake is trying to make the spouse like the same things you like. Might be better to encourage him/her to find their own pleasures, and maybe they will understand yours better. My husband tolerates my plants -- I think he is grateful I have something that is a passion for me like his research (Michigan history) is for him. When I have a plant in bloom and show it to him, he says, "That's nice." and then goes about his research and writing. He likes orchids' fragrance but hates the smell of perfume. So I have lots of orchids and no perfume...

I'm very fortunate in this matter although I joke about it allot. My wife is a plant freak, though her interests are more in the outdoor native gardening/herbs/edible direction than orchids. I also tend to be the spend thrift in the house, so she encourages me to be less restrained in orchid purchases so she can find excuses to spend more on other stuff.

She really enjoys the orchids as long as I keep her in pretty fu fu stuff, and don't get overboard on the stinky outter space stuff.

My hubby does not care for orchids at all, or understand the 'need' we enthusiasts have for them but he does praise me on my abilities. He also built me a grow room so I could continue to improve. I can't complain about him not getting involved...he just likes to see me happy. His hobby is fishing and he spends lots of time and $ on it. (he's at a fishing derby today in fact) I don't complain because he can afford it and has a great time doing it. Once in awhile he will go with me to an orchid show and I go fishing with him so we at least share time together. Oh I forgot...he's also into Nascar and hockey cards.

That's part of the problem, my wife has zero hobbies. Really, she knows it and has expressed to me in the past that she thinks she needs a hobby, but can't find one that interests her. I keep telling her that until she actually TRIES to do/collect something, she will never find a hobby. Neither one of us are shopaholics in the "pretty fufu" sense of the word. So it's not like I can send her out to buy shoes to make her happy.

I just hate that someday I am going to want to go to one of the big orchid shows and she is going to be bored for the entire time. I just don't like being one of those couples. But it sounds like there are plenty of us out there who "get" orchids married to those who don't.

Blake, you and I need to have a beer sometime.

Steve has said that he will go to the Ottawa show with me next spring and possibly the Redland show in Florida. We solve his non interest problem, in situations like that, by splitting our time between show and tourist stuff. It's a fair compromise.

Blake, you and I need to have a beer sometime.
Thats a good idea John.

Well, not being married, my situation is a bit different. My girlfriend used to think I was kinda crazy when it comes to plants, but now she mostly accepts it. Recently I bought a treefern that cost XXXX! yen and she drove me to go get it. She just kept shaking her head and saying, "are you sure you need this?" and "don't cry when it dies next winter!". To keep her happy in response to my self gift giving (there are always new plants in the yard which she inspects everytime she comes over!), I bought her a string of pearls (can you say OUCH!). So the balance is maintained for the time being...

Tom

Tom, you are a smart man!!!!:thumbsup:

I likeyou guys have the same catch-22. My wife is definitely not aplant person, can't stand my orchids, hates when I go to work at the greenhouse, hates going to nurseries or shows..... I really tried to battle it for awhile bringing home bloomers for her to look at and smell... Eventually she complained that all my slipper looked alike. :(

However we went to San Diego for a wedding, and she asked if we could go to Andy's because I had been talking his operation up. Well after a marveluous tour, she was kind of excited to get me started. I have been growing for 3 years indoors, and she was asking me questions about building a quick greenhouse.

My husband and I give ourselves a monthly allowance to spend however we like. It works great! He buys tools, I buy orchids and neither of us gets upset any more.