i met german lady orchid grower who as it happens is a good grower of everything except a couple of paphs which
didnt seem particularly loved.Anyhow over a cup of tea the subject of paphiopedilums came up,and up she came with
"i dont like paphs they're rude".I have puzzled over what she meant,and not being likely to see her again i have posted
this question here.My wife said she has heard something of that kind elswhere i havent.The lip on a paph is beautiful
and i suppose could be compared with parts of the human anatomy,and i certainly get excited by them but not sexualy
am i missing the point?

Howdy and Welcome! Paphs are sometimes considered very phalic(men's testicles). If you look at a venustum, they tend to be an old guys veiny set. That is probably what she meant. Ruder yet are some of the bulbos that smell like pooop, and sweaty crotch etc....

Dirty minds see rudeness everywhere. (I know mine does.) You're better off not having tea with that pervert again. :wink:

Welcome to the forum!

Mark

Yeah, which is why I never understand why more women don't grow them! :twisted:

(Oh, and can anyone guess who is the middle school teacher in this bunch?) :lol:
Tadd you are too funny!

just to make sure everyone knows, orchid comes from orchis, which i believe is greek for testicle which a genera in europe look like...
though they aren't paphs

That would be high school missy!

What about Bulbophyllum vaginatum? :poke:

I don't know why some people think Paphs are phallic, not to my eyes! What about those Catt lips? Some of them look very vagina like to me and yet they are so very common and women love Catts. To each his own, I guess. :D

wow how did i miss this thread :D paphs are very exciting for me :poke: TADD how is your venustum hanging :poke:

A little hot right now!!! Marcus said vaginatum :poke:

Ohhh.....perhaps I am now understanding better why more women don't grow Paphs....:lol:

We're RATHER testosterone heavy here this evening no?
S'ok, I was just listening to a very apropo (how the heck do you spell that?) song for the occasion. :wink:

I Got Big Balls - AC/DC?

marcus said what!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock: time to start banning people :D TADD try boxers it might help your venustum :lol:

I Got Big Balls - AC/DC?

Uh, no, that was not it. See music thread for taste please.
(argh)

Don't the cut the venustum in a vasectomy?

The first time one of my wife's gielfriends had come over for a visit and saw some of my paphs. blooming she became quite embarassed I asked what was wrong and she just pointed to one and said don't you see how sexual they are. she just couldn't get over it. Personally it's not why I grow them I think slippers can look weird and I like to grow unusual plants anything of an odditie will get my attention.That;s why one of these day's I will own a huge Bulbo. Phal I have one but the largest leaf is only a foot long I;m afraid I;ll not be of this world by the time it takes that one to grow up. Ray

http://www.orchidspecies.com/bulbophylumvaginatum.htm
I just don't see where the name came from. And no, I don't need TADD or Stan to draw me any pics either... :D

I missed this? What a day to lose my internet connection, email, and have to back up all my files and restore my hard drive. :mad:

Welcome Elsajohn! :welcome:

Please do not let this rowdy bunch scare you off. :shock:

Marcus, my dear -

I don't see it either, but did you really think you needed to prove its' existance? :poke:
I figured, "if he's willing to post that? It must exist!" lol!!!

I actually think Cyp. acaule is rather femine....truth be told.
Hmmm...

In latin, vagina means "sheath." Bulb. vaginatum likely has a sheath-like structure somewhere, such as an inflorescence bract.

Now, some orchids are very sexual in appearance, but I don't really see it in Paphs either. Coryanthes, on the other hand . . .

Coryanthes speciosa image search ---- NOT WORK SAFE (http://images.google.com/images?q=coryanthes+speciosa&btnG=Search&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en)

if this were in non-orchid discussion, i could bring up Linnaeus and a certain genus of sweet pea named clitoria

if this were in non-orchid discussion, i could bring up Linnaeus and a certain genus of sweet pea named clitoria

I think you just did...

What about Cattleya labiata? :lol:

Yeah Coryanthes are wicked looking Sue! They are extreme! MARCUS still said vaginatum! likespaphs said clitoria!!!, and Pete said labiata!!!!!

Damn! I knew it liked this forum!

I know a guy who thinks most paphs are ugly. Says they remind him of jock-straps.

You people! Honestly!

OK, I'm off now to unpot some of my Amorphophallus tubers. 8)

Hey Shady what will you do with them I just unpotted my one and only just got it this year I just have it drying in a cool place. do you put it in anything like peatmoss or shavings.

No, I just bag them up loosely in paper bags and stick them in cardboard boxes in a cold room in the basement. I treat my Arisaemas the same way. What Amorpho species do you have?

LOL! This thread is really cracking me up! I actually have a Bulbo. Vaginatum!

I have the Konjac and I just bought three good size bulbs of the Dracunculus Vulgaris which I am led to believe I could plant in the ground here where I live in zone 6 I probably should have not planted all three of them . just have to wait till spring..

Tadd,

Just so you know, the word "phallic" actually describes the "frank" instead of "the beans".

Not that I'm an expert,

Garland the Breeder

Yeah I know thanks for poitning out that I am a moron.... :poke: Franks and beans.... Have you seen my baseball?

...one of the best movies EVER made!!!

"Is that hair gel???"


Garland

What Amorpho species do you have?

my amorphophallus is bigger than your amorpho...excuse me, i meant to say, i have a seedling A. titan (six to ten years 'til blooming size). what species do you have?

(h<-------wondering if we've managed to scare poor elsajason away yet....)
:lol:

I have dunnii, konjac and bulbifer. I recycle my potting mix into my compost sometimes and this year I had a bulbifer pop up in my tomato pot. I guess those little taters are hardier than I thought. :D I tried a Dracunculus a few years ago but it got too wet before it got a leaf and died. I'm keeping my eye open for that one again at the garden center since the flower is so vile. I wouldn't even think of trying titanum; just don't have the room. I just settle for going to see the huge one at the University when it blooms. I have tons of Sauromatum so I'm just leaving some in the ground this year. I've had them winter over in the past, callas too!

Hi Shady as I said earlier I just planted theDracunculus I bought and am in zone 6 I don't know what zone you are in but do you think I'm safe planting them now The planting notes said itr was safe but you have had them so you would know better. Thanks Ray

I couldn't tell you authoritatively, Ray. I live in zone 5a and grow all but the above-mentioned exceptions in pots on a seasonal basis. A general rule of thumb if you got it at a garden center, it's being offered at the appropriate time to plant it locally. Tubers (or whatever they are) of this group are reputed to have a tendency to rot if they stay too wet in the winter so just make sure the soil under it is more gravelly/sandy than clayey for a good depth and you should be OK. Good luck and post a pic of the thing blooms!

I was looking up some other hybrid information and came across this:

Paph. villosum x phillippinense = Paph Priapus 1890

If anybody isn't familiar with Priapus, just do a quick search. But you might not want to make it an image search if you're at work.

I'm now really curious about this hybrid, and I cannot find any other information online. If anybody has any leads, please let me know.

I'm also looking for Paph. Thunderous Burp, BTW.

OMG! Paph Thunderous Burp???? I MUST have one to go with my Paph. Wardii "Fartsorous Jack". I am also wanting to get a Phrag. Uranus to go with that group. Let me know if you find one! :lol:

OMG! Paph Thunderous Burp???? I MUST have one to go with my Paph. Wardii "Fartsorous Jack". I am also wanting to get a Phrag. Uranus to go with that group. Let me know if you find one! :lol:

"Fartsorous Jack"? Is that printed on a label?! (note: I will not believe an answer in the affirmative without photographic proof.)

Paph. Thunderous Burp = Paph. Thunder Bay x Paph. Burpham. Klehm 1994.
I think it's a big spotted bulldog.

Oh, and last I checked, Oak Hill was selling cheap NBS Phrag. Uranus. Yup, just checked. Here you go. (http://oakhillgardens.com/htm/orchid_fs_db.php?sec=sghyb&toptext=Seed%20Grown%20-%20Hybrids%20Misc.&page=9)

Sorry it is "Fartisorous Jack"...I left out the "i" but close enough. And as requested here is a photograph and a link to where I purchased the seedling:

http://troymeyers.com/direct/?092097

Damn that's strange. Maybe somebody asked their 8-year-old son what he thought that one should be named.

Yeah I wonder how it got that name...hmmm, maybe it's FRAGRANT! :ohmy:

...one of the best movies EVER made!!!

"Is that hair gel???"


Garland

Then she proceeds to rub some of it into her hair. That would be "Something About Mary." I LMAO watching that!!

OK, I guess I swore off hybrids too soon. Part of my garden is named "The Glade of Priapus" though I will spare you the photos. I have villosum but no philipinense anymore. Who ended up with that? Maybe we could get our 'chids together and try for grandchildren. :shock:

Not to dredge up this hysterical thread again (which I just re-read from start to finish, and was particularly amused by the thread going "off topic" with the mention of amorphophallus!) but I was just on the phone with my sis (who is a member, though she's not around much) and she mentioned this thread! LOL! She said she thoroughly enjoyed it. Heeheehee!

Man, we're a bunch of nuts!
(NO pun intended....)